11,089 Minutes (and 41.6 Ounces) to Go!

Well, here we are, in the final 'push'... and I'm counting the minutes and the ounces to the end of my 100 Day Body Transformation Challenge.

Current weight: 202.5! Just 2.6 pounds to my goal of getting my weight under 200 for the first time in over a decade!

The interesting this is that what has transformed most isn't my body, but my thinking.

No, I haven't made it all the way there in reality, but in my mind I made it long ago - everything else has been just details. Like a karate master breaking a stack of bricks with his bare hand, I've visualized the bricks breaking in my mind as I hit through them to an imaginary spot past the bottom block. The "doing" was simply that. Doing. There was no question... just executuion.

So, if it was so easy, why didn't I do this long ago? Great question.

And the answer might surprise you.

It's because I liked it the way it was. I liked eating and drinking (and sometimes gorging) myself into a wine-induced, caloric stupor. And I liked the feeling of being able to do what I wanted (translation: eat and drink) when I wanted (translation: every day). And why? One word...

Control.

Eating and drinking gave me a sense of being in control. Of course, life is ironic at times. Because the control I wanted ultimately placed me out of control... of my weight... of my health... of my emotions... and my life.

Now I feel in control but not eating and drinking anytime I want. Like I said, ironic.

Make no mistake, this doesn't mean I will never struggle again - Christmas taught me that lesson (damn ham and stupid stockings!) But that's the point, isn't it? The ham and the stocking stuffed with candy will be there every year.

And I'll be there, lusting after them like an adict craving crack.

"Hello, my name is Rich ('Hi, Rich') and I'm a Ham-oholic."

No, I'm not making fun of people with serious addictions - I'm being completely serious. Because an addiction is an addiction is an addiction. Yes, some can kill you quicker than others... but they're all deadly.

Even if the only thing they kill is your spirit.